About

The TLDR

The TLDR

  • Previously: Sr. Copywriter at Nuts.com. As someone who grew up with an Almond Mom, working at Nuts.com was like discovering my childhood best friend's pantry filled with the best snacks. I never knew such a utopia existed — and could bring so much pure, unbridled joy.

  • My famous lore: I was a George Foreman Grill on Dave Letterman’s Halloween special. My dad worked there, so this technically makes me a Nepo Baby.

  • Loving right now: How I am among the top 0.001% of listeners worldwide for "Spring Breakers” according to this year’s Spotify wrapped

  • Hating right now: My chin hair (evergreen)

  • Ranting about right now: Being annoyed is the price you pay for community (also evergreen)

  • Favorite TV shows of all time: “Girls” on HBO and “The Sopranos”

  • Eating right now: A family-sized box of Cheezits

  • Reading right now: Literally anything published by The Cut

  • Currently watching: “The Summer I Turned Pretty”

  • Current favorite song: “Food for the Soul” by it's murph

  • Current favorite word: Decorum

  • Current fixation: My mom’s Facebook profile of endless memes

  • Current internet obsession: Kay Poyer on TikTok

  • Current favorite comedian: Caleb Hearon

  • Current trip planned: Mexico City

  • Always defending: The state of New Jersey. Dunkin Iced Coffee. A good scammer/grifter redemption arc tbh. My impulse purchases. “Riverdale” on The CW. Mechanical pencils that break. The ramblings in my 2nd grade diary. My bad math SAT score. Lisa Barlow.

SKILLS

  • I can WFA: write from anywhere — the office, home, bed, the floor of Miami International Airport, etc.

  • I create fire memes for numerous group chats.

  • Speaking of memes, I’ve curated the best ones on my phone, including tweets. It’s a skill I take pride in.

  • My screen time daily average is 14h 8m, a tremendous achievement for the Very Online.

  • I can yap for hours about why everyone should be #TeamTeresaGiudice.

  • I give great makeup recs. I’m even better at applying false eyelashes (yes, it’s harder than it looks).

  • I’m a total Carrie. (SATC fans, IYKYK.)

  • I’m even more of a Hannah Horvath. Introspection is everything.

  • I’m a master at mastering a character count.

  • I eat Yasso ice cream bars like it’s my full-time job.

  • I’m usually the first person in the office to learn about a celebrity’s passing… and the first to share the news.